Do You Know Secret About Wine

Alright ladies, would you like to see our wine list? That sounds perfect. Yes, let’s talk about wine. There are so many. How am I supposed to choose? Have you ever noticed that when it’s time to choose a wine, none of us feel like we know what we’re doing? Since we can’t taste the wines before we buy them, we’reforced to pick just based on the label. This one has a frog wearing a hat, so I bet that tastes like… mossy?

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And even when we do taste them, we doubt our own opinions. This one’s full… bodied? Are you sure? No, what is a wine body? Yeah, this is clearly wet. So we defer to the opinions of so-called wine experts. Perhaps I can be of some assistance, ladies. Tell us what tastes good. I’ve been pretending this whole time.


But the truth is, everyone is pretending because even thoughwine connoisseurs want us to believe that their ratings are objective. That one’s fit to drink, that is cheap swill, and that is a bottle of ketchup and they have supernatural powers of wine discernment.

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Tastes like it was a very cold summer that year. And, uh…the vendor’s wife was pregnant. Hold on. With a girl. Here’s the big secret wine experts can’t tell the difference either. I beg to differ, sir. My palate is incredibly refined. Well, Frederic Brochet of the University of Bordeaux would say otherwise. He conducted a series of tests on unsuspecting wine experts, but for the sake of TV, let’s call them wine pranks.


In the first test, 54 wine connoisseurs were asked to compare a red and a white wine. Should be pretty easy. The red is juicy and robust. They’re actually the same wine. Half of the bottles were just white wine dyed red and none of the participants could tell.


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In another test, experts were sked to compare two different bottles. One, an expensive Grand Cru, and the other, a cheap table wine. The Grand Cru. Complex. Very, very interesting. I shall be returning to the Grand Cru. It’s light. It’s flat. It’s pretty much what you’d expect.  Oh, that’s interesting, because once again, they’re the same wine.


Oh, you got wine pranked, All right. You’ve convinced me.All wine is terrible and it tastes the same. No, wine is wonderful and of course, wines taste different. It’s just totally subjective, like all foods. We don’t need sandwich experts because we know what we like.


Peanut butter and sardines. What, they’re both healthy fats.And it’s what I like. If you don’t like it, it doesn’t matter because there’s no objective truth to what tastes best. We think of wine as a high-class item only accessible by high-class people, but it’s just tasty fermented grapes. So you know what? Forget the snobs, take risks and drink what tastes good to you.


Reason Tipping Is Not Advantage For Service Provider

Right now you probably hate me for even daring to question the custom of tipping, yeah but why? Bear with me I think you’ll agree that tipping is a custom we’d be better off without. I’ll go here with your family here. first let’s get one thing straight if you live in America you have to tip. Servers here rely on tipping to make a living and as long as that’s true if you don’t do it you’re an asshole but just because that the system we have doesn’t mean it’s a good system and tipping is a custom that short change servers inconvenience as customers and makes the dining experience worse for everyone.

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First ask yourself this why is it our responsibility to pay the restaurants employees humanely. Why don’t we just pay you a normal amount of money and make the food more expensive I mean that’s what every business is done since the dawn of time. When you buy a pair of jeans they’re just 50 bucks they’re not like that’ll be forty dollars and you decided the stock boy eats tonight.

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The fact is tipping is a relatively new custom in America for most of our history paying for better service was considered an undemocratic form of bribery. Serve me before this rabble will you I’m a very wealthy man I shall sir. This is America where every man has the right to decent service but after prohibition banned the sale of alcohol restaurant profits cater and owners began encouraging tipping just so they could pay their servers less.

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Nearly a century later restaurant owners still pay their servers less than minimum weight turning what used to be a bride into an obligation that makes the end of every meal suck. Unless your idea of a good time is doing math and being lectured by your friends twenty percent of 138 is the same as double ten percent which. Obviously you’ve never worked in the service industry I always tip at least 60 because I care whether or not our waitress starve to  death. If I give better service I get a bigger tip actually you don’t a study at Cornell University found that the real reasons people to more or less are basically random and that customers to receive great service tip on average just one percent more than customers who don’t. None of this stress is necessary in most cultures nobody tips and everyone still gets their food on time. The only difference is they’re winners get a steady income and no one has to argue about the bill and don’t tip on the tax what you always did want to tax I never give up on the tax. Ever since I was a kid I never tip on the tax.



Information Regarding Hymen – Truth Revealed

What’s a hymen? Tt’s a bit of girl  that covers the vaginal area until she has sex. Yes, a freshness seal. Do not consume if opened. Yeah, that’s what a lot of people think. People picture the hymen like it’s one of those paper banners at a sports game. They think it covers up a lady’s vagina, and then when she has sex for the first time,it gets busted. Seems pretty accurate. Yep, let’s go play video games. No, you don’t. Everything about that is wrong.


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Ok, think about it, if our hymen’s completely sealed our vaginas, where would our periods go? I mean, we’d blow up like the blueberry girl in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Oh yea, and where would you pee? You know we don’t pee out of our vaginas, right? We pee out of our urethras.  Which is a separate hole. And our school district is very underfunded. So that’s how many holes total? The hymen is actually a thin, stretchy bit around the vagina. In most women, our hymens have an o

pening that’s big enough for tampons, fingers, and yes, gettin’ busy.


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But it’s not like a barrier. It’s more like a  balloon arch. Ok, but doesn’t the hymen break the first time you have sex? Like doesn’t it hurt? It doesn’t have to. It might if you’re not careful with it.  But, it can also tear from doing the splits, or just living our lives. Even then, hymens can heal. And a lot of them never even get torn in the first place. One study found that 52% of sexually active teenage women had intact hymens. The hymen as you understand it is a straight up myth. Ok, Emily, are you sure about that? Maybe you should call in an expert. that’s a good call.

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Our bodies don’t come with built in virginity detectors, and sex isn’t supposed to hurt the first time. But this horrible idea is everywhere in our culture.  Even the New York Times gets it wrong. The Times knows more about regional politics in Finland than the female body. Honestly, the worse part is the word daddy. Yea, that is inappropriate. It gets way worse than band names. In some parts of the world, women are forced to show government officials that their hymen is intact. If they don’t, they can be denied jobs, barred from making rape accusations, even thrown in jail. I know that this is usually the point where you do some cute visual gag. Yeah, virginity exams are straight up sexual assault, and they don’t even prove anything because the hymen doesn’t work that way. Physically speaking, virginity doesn’t exist. It’s just something we made up to be mean to women, I learned something. That felt great.



History of Purebred Dog or Just A Common Dog

Our so-called purebred dogs riddled with genetic disease but dog breeds aren’t even a real thing. We made them up, we talked about dog breeds as though nature created them that way and as though mutt is a just a mix of different pure breeds.
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In fact mutts or dogs in their natural healthy states and pure breeding is a form of genetic manipulation humans made up just to amuse ourselves. Outside of a few traditional working dogs ninety percent of all dog breeds were created in just the last 100 years. In 19th century Victoria in England eugenics was all the rage and competitive dog breeding became a fad among the wealthy.  After these dr. Frankenstein’s and played God for a while they declare their weird little monster in pure breed and that’s all of purebred dog is it’s totally arbitrary. We have a pure breed that that means like a good healthy dog?

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When you hear purebred you should thank in-bred. Kennel club’s prohibit purebred dogs from ever meeting outside their breed and often make them with their own parents and siblings. One study found that 10,000 pugs have the same genetic diversity as 50 individuals making it as in-breed as an Austrian Duke. All of this in breeding means that the average purebred dog is sicker than well the dog. Sixty percent of golden retrievers died of cancer, a third of King Charles Spaniels have skulls that are too small for their brains. Great Danes are so huge that their hearts can support their bodies and well and this little tiny dogs.

Have you ever seen a little tiny dog that looked happy they know there’s something wrong with them and they know that we did it to them and now we come to the bulldog. He is so cute, yeah he is if you find total genetic failure cute, a hundred years ago the Bulldog was a proud breed but a century of inbreeding has ruined them their noses are so squashed that can barely breathe their heads are so big they can only give birth by cesarean section. Their tails can become ingrown they basically all have hip dysplasia and their average life expectancy is six years.

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Let’s face it these dogs shouldn’t even be alive the sad part is kennel club’s could cure all of the Bulldogs problems if they just allowed them to crossbreed but they won’t because then they might not look like the cute little Bulldogs everyone loves but our insistence that these dogs live up to our arbitrary standards is causing them to get sick and die.

As much as you love the Bulldog the fact that it exists at all is borderline animal abuse. Look there’s an easy solution when you get a dog don’t worry about what breed it is just go to your local shelter and get yourself a little puppy mutt he will be happy healthy and one hundred percent all natural dog.