Do You Know Secret About Wine


Alright ladies, would you like to see our wine list? That sounds perfect. Yes, let’s talk about wine. There are so many. How am I supposed to choose? Have you ever noticed that when it’s time to choose a wine, none of us feel like we know what we’re doing? Since we can’t taste the wines before we buy them, we’reforced to pick just based on the label. This one has a frog wearing a hat, so I bet that tastes like… mossy?

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And even when we do taste them, we doubt our own opinions. This one’s full… bodied? Are you sure? No, what is a wine body? Yeah, this is clearly wet. So we defer to the opinions of so-called wine experts. Perhaps I can be of some assistance, ladies. Tell us what tastes good. I’ve been pretending this whole time.


But the truth is, everyone is pretending because even thoughwine connoisseurs want us to believe that their ratings are objective. That one’s fit to drink, that is cheap swill, and that is a bottle of ketchup and they have supernatural powers of wine discernment.

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Tastes like it was a very cold summer that year. And, uh…the vendor’s wife was pregnant. Hold on. With a girl. Here’s the big secret wine experts can’t tell the difference either. I beg to differ, sir. My palate is incredibly refined. Well, Frederic Brochet of the University of Bordeaux would say otherwise. He conducted a series of tests on unsuspecting wine experts, but for the sake of TV, let’s call them wine pranks.


In the first test, 54 wine connoisseurs were asked to compare a red and a white wine. Should be pretty easy. The red is juicy and robust. They’re actually the same wine. Half of the bottles were just white wine dyed red and none of the participants could tell.


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In another test, experts were sked to compare two different bottles. One, an expensive Grand Cru, and the other, a cheap table wine. The Grand Cru. Complex. Very, very interesting. I shall be returning to the Grand Cru. It’s light. It’s flat. It’s pretty much what you’d expect.  Oh, that’s interesting, because once again, they’re the same wine.


Oh, you got wine pranked, All right. You’ve convinced me.All wine is terrible and it tastes the same. No, wine is wonderful and of course, wines taste different. It’s just totally subjective, like all foods. We don’t need sandwich experts because we know what we like.


Peanut butter and sardines. What, they’re both healthy fats.And it’s what I like. If you don’t like it, it doesn’t matter because there’s no objective truth to what tastes best. We think of wine as a high-class item only accessible by high-class people, but it’s just tasty fermented grapes. So you know what? Forget the snobs, take risks and drink what tastes good to you.


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